Moving away

When I decided to move away from home after getting a job in US, nobody was shocked! My family members were aware of the vacuum that will be created by my absence. But since our dad worked abroad for most of his life staying from family, this was something my family members were used to.

There was no resistance from any quarters. In fact, everyone were happy that I got this opportunity. There were jokes about settling down in the foreign country and marrying someone from that country. The jokes went overboard. But, emotions were always in control.

So, when I heard about a dad and son spending a few hours on the phone till 3 am in the morning discussing about a possible move to a different country, I was surprised! The son was planning to pursue higher education in US. But, is this a topic worth discussing for 4 hours over phone?

My inquisitive mind asked the son about this. There were two things the father was worried about.

  1. The son might decide to settle in US and might not come back to India except for vacations.
  2. The son might decide to marry an American.

Sensing a controversial topic, my face lit up in a beaming smile. Without waiting for my next question, the son replied, “I promised I will not marry an American”. There was something amiss. So, I waited.

After a dramatic pause, the son said, “Well, I promised him not to marry an American. But I still can have kids with an American and I can bring them home. He never asked me not to!”.

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Tags: Musings,Dad,Son


  1. What is wrong with marrying an American?

  2. I find it a little sad when the children settle abroad.
    Most of my husband's friends from IIT decided to settle down in US. Their parents are extremely lonely in their old age and miss their children badly.
    I feel sorry for them. Incidentally 2 of these friends married Americans. Both marriages did not last beyond 5 years.

  3. being lonely is a state of mind, you can still be lonely staying in the same house with your children, with the bond missing. I think the more you let go of your kids, the more they bond to you, the holding on to them makes them crave for distance, and to pursue a career option or study abroad is a decision the guy has to make, if you as a parent have given him a sound value based upbringing, i dont think you should be worried about the choices he will make

  4. @Rick - Thanks for dropping in.

    There is nothing in marrying an American. The thoughts were echoed by the father. He might have been thinking cultural differences wouldn't result in cordial relationship!

    @Aparna - That is sad part! Children decides to settle abroad. Parents are unwilling to move! Where will the twine meet? Sad to hear about the your friends.

    @Sujata - Well said! But on retrospective, I'm not ready to accept my daughter moving away at this point in my life. May be I will change in the course of time!

    @Swatantra - Thanks

    @Kavita - :)

  5. Nona, frankly I find nothing wrong with one either settling abroad or marrying out of the country.My son lives abroad.

  6. @BKC - Not everyone is as understanding as you. :)


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