I am already ten minutes late

What goes through your mind when you hear someone proclaim the following sentence? I am already ten minutes late. Do you feel guilty? Do you become angry? Are you beyond the point of caring? I was recently in a meeting when a person warned about another meeting first and then said he has spent too much time in the meeting that he was late for the next appointment. On hearing about him being late, I initially felt guilty. Then I wondered if there was any reason for me to feel guilty.

While working on my guilt, I traced the events backward. We had overrun and used ten minutes more than the allocated time. But the overrun was attributed to the person who claimed he was late for another meeting. That person could not answer any questions directly. As a result, the vague answers were creating more questions which ultimately contributed to the non-closure of the already stretched meeting. Next, I wondered why the meeting organizer didn't step in to call for a truce and suggest another meeting to discuss the open points. Suddenly, it dawned on me. The person who claimed to be late was the meeting organizer. So not only did he fail to answer directly but also didn't keep the time correctly.  Now, I asked myself. Should I feel guilty?

In all our relations, personal and professional, there are such people. They quickly say something to make us feel guilty and eventually put us in a defensive position. Most of the time they are consistent in their actions that we naturally feel guilty when in the company of such persons.  There is no easy way to counter the effect of such people.

Photo Courtesy: Jens Schott Knudsen